Hola Dollz ! Hey Modern World!
I am back I needed a week to get used to my new schedule which is actually not the same schedule this week . But I know how to adjust . Fun fact apparently it takes 14 days to get into a new habit . Obviously that’s not gonna work for me this week but try checking in on me at the end of the month. Also it is a new month what habit are you going to start these next 14 days ? Think about it and try just a step at a time .
So let’s get into it , do you know what a repressed memory is ? “The term repressed memories refers to the rare psychological phenomenon in which memories of traumatic events may be stored in the unconscious mind and blocked from normal conscious recall.” If you google the definition that’s what you will fine . For many years I didn’t understand what a repressed memory was I experienced it but I didn’t know it was actually a term for it .
In my opinion you can not necessarily control repressing memories however I feel you can control repressing emotions .
Repressed emotions is “repressed. ... The adjective repressed often describes emotions or desires, especially those that could be considered shameful or distressing. When an emotion is repressed, you hold it inside so you don't have to show how you feel. Sometimes you aren't consciously aware that you're doing it.” I want to talk about repressed memories and emotions because often times we are unaware of them .
For Repressed memories you might get them from a smell , a song , food, a show etc . You will know because it will flood in something that you remember but not fully . You might even mix up the memory and make it worse . Now I’ve never had recovered memory therapy or been formally trained in it but I want to make suggestions on what has helped for me .
I’ve had two repressed memories and several repressed emotions. One memory I repressed was losing my Maternal Grandmother at the age of 5. 5 is a young age but my memory has always been on point . It would often bother me that I remembered being in Pre K and Kindergarten my teachers , friends birthdays etc. But oddly enough I couldn’t remember stuff I did with my grandmother or even her voice . It bothered me when I was in middle school because I ended up going to a school with people from Kindergarten who I hadn’t seen since . I then began to sometimes remember something about my grandmother or confuse things . So I started to ask my mom which I would be afraid of it being a sore subject because it was her mom . But she was just explain what I remembered . She also explained to me that the death of my Granny Val was traumatic for me . I often cried a lot like everyday almost until one day I stopped . I realized once I was older I repressed the memory of her because it hurt so bad I needed to forget to keep going . But that is untrue I really needed to heal. My Maternal Grandfather has keepsakes in the house of different family members . As I got older reading about my Granny and listening to recordings or videos helped me . I know everyone might not have the resources I had to jog my memory but I shared it anyway because it could help. If you have a memory and someone else is involved in it just bring it up and share it to get their perspective and that’s only if yourself ready. Some memories could be too traumatic and you aren’t ready to deal with them and that’s understandable but you eventually have to develop healthy ways to cope.
Also I encourage you to use the song , video or scent to help you . Close your eyes and listen to the song or take in the scent and see if you remember anything . Then wrote it down woe draw it out and add to it each time until it makes since .
Now as for repressed emotions I tend to repress my emotions to get over stuff . So I’ll tell myself if someone hurts me they were never my friend . Or if I get in an argument I’ll start to just act like someone does not exist . By all means always claim your peace but that doesn’t mean pretend everything is alright . Honestly repressed emotions could mess with your memory . Sometimes I’ve felt strange when people have entered my life again because something did not sit right about a situation . So I’ve done one or two things I’ve treated them weird in a way where you can tell I don’t want to be bothered or I accepted them back in my life too fast . Both scenarios aren’t good . You have to deal with your emotions before they deal with you . My favorite exercise is writing a letter to someone who hurt me and not sending it . Sometimes I would use that as a reference point if I thought of them I would go to my specific journal for that. Other times I would keep dreaming about them and whatever situation and it would still bother me so I would throw away the letter in order to let it go . But both ways have helped me deal with it . This past week I tried to tell one of my closest friends that I was over a situation and as I kept talking I clearly wasn’t . She has to tell me that in order for me to heal I have to accept the fact that I’m not over it first . She’s right . Often times we know what to do to help. But we still pick up our bad habits . Repressed memory might not being something we can control but Repressed emotion is something we can get a hold of . Thank you for giving me your time today . Dm @themoderncrwd or myself @theartofhealingkl any topics you want for #TheArtofHealingBlog .