Hola Dollz! Hey Modern World!
I know you all are probably thinking I’m more than a day late and a dollar short with this blog but listen...
A couple of weeks ago I was on the Daddy Daughter show which is @iamfamousmonet radio show on wolb 1010 station in Baltimore and one of the topics were being selfish in a non negative way. Here is the link so you can listen to the show which airs every Thursday from 4:30-5:30pm. https://wolbbaltimore.com/listen-live/
Anyways I bring this topic up because I mentioned during the show that you can’t pour out from an empty cup . Although I love speaking to you guys I was very drained on Monday and Tuesday I was just kind of getting my energy back and trying to get settled back into my life in GA . See I was in MD for a long time during the holidays and the day after I got back to GA my cousin passed away so I traveled back to MD to lay him to rest and spend time with my family . So I’ve been mentally and emotionally drained which means I couldn’t pour into you all at that time .
When he first passed I was being a little anti social with my circle . I was going though so many changes. I even made a tweet where I stated “Death is like an emotional rollercoaster like you could be confused ,next sad after that anti social but then you want to be social you could laugh at memories then be sad again . It’s so many ups and downs with grief . Makes me feel wishy washy.” I stand by this statement even today , death is an emotional rollercoaster and you have to be selfish in a way with your healing .
It’s ok to take personal days of not speaking to people and it’s ok to take a break from things . Healing as I say often is something you take your time with .
Now this death was different for me because he’s the first (first cousin that I’ve lost) . But it was also different because of how we all said goodbye. I usually don’t do well with funerals . I’m used to memorials really. Neither one is easy but memorials usually run smoother for me and my healing process .
There were a few things I noticed that is helping me through this . First one of my close friends came to the viewing to support me and she actually helped me face viewing the body because I really didn’t want to . Also seeing all of the support he had including my father and paternal family supporting me in this loss. As well as his birthday was the same day as the funeral so his sister (my cousin) planned a birthday party for after the funeral . So this was more like a celebration of life . I thought about my bond with my cousin . I wished that I celebrated him more while he was living . As much as he told me he was happy for me I wish that I had done the same . But this weekend really helped me realize that in life really say everything you want and need to say.
Communication is our healing tool for today and I know you might be thinking how is communication Art?
You can communicate through speech , writing , and all types of art.
My communication was during the funeral I got up during the remarks and I reflected on the fun times I had instead of being extremely sad. I talked about how my cousin would make me laugh and it made the entire room laugh. I feel like it might have lightened the mood of the funeral . Everyone who spoke had positive words and great memories .
At the birthday party I danced with my family and had a good time . That’s a form of communication dancing , as well as laughter . We had to really have a good time because my cousin was the life of the party . When Nipsey Hustle died everyone said “The Marathon continues .” For my cousin Jonathan “The Fun continues” . We will continue to reflect on the good times and keep joy and laughter in our family , especially for his children. So I know I got really personal this week. But I wanted you all to know how I’m dealing with my healing process . As usual please contact @themoderncrwd and myself @theartofhealingkl to share your Art of Healing . Smoochez have a great rest of your week.